"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself."
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

There will never be another Gizzy ....

but Cutie Rudy is pretty special too.



click to enlarge if you want a good look at an adorable face



I have always planned on getting another shih tzu puppy, after Gizzy's death, but I never thought it would be so soon after his passing. I have mourned the imminent loss of Gizzy for 3 years (that's how long the vet has said that he was on borrowed time) & since September of last year, I knew he didn't have much longer. So I have had my time to grieve but I didn't think my heart would be open to another so soon. But 2 days after Gizzy died, I woke up feeling sooo blue...just like I had every morning since he had been in the hospital. There have been many required stays, in the years since Gizzy was diagnosed, but I knew he was not coming home this time.

Anyway, I woke up feeling so sad & so lonely & so bereft but after having a good cry, I was overcome w/ a sense of urgency to look in the paper... to see if the people we got Gizzy from, might have another litter available. Nevermind that it was 12 years ago, that I don't recall their names nor exactly where they live. I was filled w/ a sense of urgency to look for an ad from them in the online classifieds. Crazy, I know!

I couldn't, of course, tell whether any of the ads were made by the breeders of Gizzy. There were many ads w/ pictures of many puppies & I didn't feel any tugs at my heartstrings but when I locked eyes on this little bugger, I lost my heart right there. We drove 70 miles to see him & as soon as I picked him up, he buried his head in teh hollow of my throat & I knew he was the one for me. He's a brindle & white 9 week old...he's a singleton (he was the only one in the litter) & he thinks he's the shiht. *grins* His mother was old & they didn't think she could have any more pups...she mated w/ the male stud they have & only the one pup was born. He has SUCH personality... a more precocious pup I have never seen & he is used to getting his way. Luckily, I'm a long-time watcher of the Dog Whisperer! ;o)


I am flooded w/ memories of Gizzy at that age (he reminds me so much of him!) but strangely, I am not overwhelmed w/ the feelings of enormous loss that I was before. He's enabling me to remember Gizzy & think of him, w/out feeling like my heart is being pulled out. He will never replace Gizzy. Gizzy was & will always be, "the best damn doggie in the history of the world!" but I have a feeling that Rudy is going to rank pretty high too.

I really appreciate all of your support...I cried reading your comments. Mimi, in particular, left one that really struck a chord, "He won't be the one you lost but he will make you smile, make you love again and make you believe that the one you lost had something to do with the one you are learning to love."

You are sooo right Mimi....what a difference a puppy makes!

19 comments:

Knitty said...

Welcome to Blogland Rudy!

I look forward to tales of puppyhood and more importantly, to feel a smile in your writing again. Gizzy will be forever in your heart, but how nice that there is room for Rudy there too.

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

Oh I'm so happy for you! When we lost our last basset hound in October of 2007 we said that we wouldn't get another dog until we retired. Well by February 2008 I HAD to have a dog and found one - my husband tried to talk me out of it - but I said that I NEEDED to have a dog. Once I got mine it was just a few months before he was looking for one. We've got two boys from rescue and they just warm our hearts everyday! I'm so glad that you've found your Rudy! He's a real cutie.

salmagundi said...

Rudy is adorable, and hopefully he will be able to help fill the hole in your heart! Sally

Mimi said...

Some of us get another pet right away and others wait a long time, sometimes years. I am not one to say which approach is the best. Once I waited and once it was a matter of months.

This little guy of yours is absolutely ADORABLE. I can't imagine having such a cutie pie running around my house since all of my dogs (other than my spaniels years ago) have been pretty large as a puppy!

Welcome, little one, you have landed in a home that most puppies only dream about. BTW, tiny Rudy, you carry with you the name of one of my sweet spaniels from many years ago. He was very special and I know you will be, too.

HoneyB said...

I am so happy Cami that you have your new puppy to help heal your heart. It is so hard when you lose a pet you loved so much to think you are replacing them, but in reality you aren't. When I lost Peabody I was desolate and cried for a long time. When Rudy came into my life it was so easy to fall right in love with him as he was so loving (still is) with me! I said the same, there will never be another Peabody. We always will remember those pets and no other really replaces them, they just help us to continue to love.

FancyHorse said...

Awww, he is a cutie and a sweetie!

I have an award for you on my blog, please come and claim it. <3

Blissful Melissa said...

He is so CUTE!

I can understand why your heart was stolen the minute he cuddled up to your neck.

I got this huge lump in my throat and big swelling tears reading what you were going through with Grizzy.

And same thing again reading this post. How precious and perfect Rudy is for you. I'm so happy for you!

Can't wait to see more photos and hear of Ruddy's puppy days.

Melissa

ceekay said...

I am SOOOO happy for you. Sometimes, you just have to have that warm ball of fur to hold on to...It is amazing how they instictively know what we need. I am very happy for you...

Ginger said...

Cami I am so happy that you decided to get another dog to love right away. I know he will help you get over the loss you are feeling. When our dogs have died, it seems like within a couple of months we have another...just because I can't stand not having a dog to love.
I hope Rudy brings you lots of joy. He sure is a cutie.
Ginger

Katy said...

Cami, what a sweet bundle of love your little Rudy is! I am so happy that the two of you have found each other. You were meant to be together.

susan said...

I am soooo happy for you. I have not been able to get you off my mind. I think you did the right thing. Gizzy would understand. Keep posting his pics ---He's a cutie (aren't all shih tzus ?:))

Susie Q said...

Hi Rudy. I konw how to you feel about Gizzy...we had to put down our (hubby's) female cattle dog 3 weeks ago and we still look for her at times.

But this time the dog will be mine (he already has a male cattle dog) He thinks a tzu would be too small to hold it's own with a 42 lbs dog so a lhasa it is for me...now to find one!

Linda said...

My heart aches for you and for anyone that loses a beloved pet. We are definitely 'dog people'. We have 9-yes,9- mini dachshunds that range in age from 12 to 1 and size from 8# to 14#. They are all neutered and smooth-haired. We know they have a relatively short lifespan but there is really no way to prepare for their passing on to the promised land. But God is a a good Father and we know we will meet all our family members in His Glory and that includes all our beloved pets.I know that no dog can take Gizzt's place but they can certainly nuzzle their own place in your heart. Rudy looks like a perfect nuzzler to me!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Oh Rudy is such a cutie! I see adventures with Rudy in our future blog reading. I'm glad you opened yourself up to a new pup. He looks like he needed someone's neck to cuddle. laurie

Mimi said...

OK, it's been a couple of days. How is that puppy doing? Or, maybe you don't have time to post because you are busy playing and taking the little dude outside to potty and napping because now you have a new baby in the house☺

Really Rainey said...

I'm so happy you are feeling better... Rudy is precious!

HUGS
~Really Rainey~

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I am so happy you got another baby. I lost BOTH of mine last year (ages 15 and 14 1/2), and I still haven't replaced them. But I keep thinking I will find two that will capture my heart! I'm soooooooo glad you got this little cutie. He's ADORABLE!

XO,

Sheila

Miss Janice said...

Oh, I just finished reading your post..."He's Gone," and thinking so sadly about your beloved pet and all the ones I have mourned in the past. Now, I see that you did what you needed to do...you got another one! I hope this puppy brings you as much joy as Gizzy did!

Karen said...

Oh I am so glad you found a new little one to cherish. "Time heals all wounds" is so true, even though we don't necessarily want to think about it. This new little guy will capture your heart completely. Not take away from Gizzy's memories, but just add to a little and create a whole new set! What fun and adventure you have ahead of you!
Congratulations Mom!POST PICTURES!!!
HAGD! Karen