He's gone.

My sweet, sweet baby is gone. He died in my arms while I was visiting him at the vet yesterday. I am very thankful that I was able to be w/ him at the end but it was sooo hard. And I couldn't give him up, even after he was gone. We sat there for almost an hour & I stroked his silky fur, knowing that it was going to be the last time & that when he left my arms, I would never hold him again.

He was an extraordinary dog & there will never be another one like him. I already miss him soooo much & I wonder how I'll get through the days w/out him. Everywhere I look there are reminders of him....painful reminders that he's not here anymore. And every time I hear the chihuahuas' tags jingle, I think it's him. When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was reach for him (it's the first thing I do every morning).....and he wasn't there & the knowledge that's he's enevr going to be there sent me into inconsolable tears.

I don't mean to be melodramatic but he was such an integral part of my days....of my life ..... & I feel like a large piece of me went w/ him. Hubby tells me that I need to draw comfort from one of the chi's but I told him that would be like having another man try to comfort me instead of him. I wouldn't feel comforted by another man's arms around me & I won't feel comforted by another dog, even if it's a dog I love. My love for Gizzy, my need for Gizzy, went way beyond that.

This si one of my favorite pics of him....his tongue hung out like that almost all the time. He was the bravest, most considerate, loyal, loving little dog I have ever known & he will be sooo missed.

I'll be allright, it's just going to take some time. I want to thank you all for your prayesr & support & I will get around to thanking you all personally when I am up to it. But I'll be avoiding my house (except to sleep) for at least a week or so....I just feel so alone in it w/ Gizzy not here.